Mitzi and Me: time for Plan B

Please note: this post is 139 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only

Since last September, social media professional Mike Niles has been volunteering through North London Cares to support an older neighbour, Mitzi, who was increasingly falling into isolation. In the first in a new series of blog posts, Mike tells his story directly. It's a story of challenging assumptions, perseverance and unlikely friendships...

BY MIKE NILES

Plan A

After 90 minutes of quietly listening to Mitzi's anxieties, insecurities and medical problems, the member of North London Cares staff accompanying me on my first visit asked, "are you sure you're happy continuing to visit this lady?" It had been a tough introduction visit, no question about that, and I hadn't expected that level of despair.

I said yes. I lied though, I wasn't happy. I wasn't qualified to objectively listen and support an old person with this level of distress. How could I help a person who was in such a bad place that she cried in front of a stranger after knowing me for 20 minutes? I'm not proud of it but my first thoughts were: 'I have a full-time job, I work long hours, will I be able to cope with the emotions of an isolated elderly person week-in, week-out?'

Plan B

There was no instant improvement to Mitzi's unhappiness. I'm not sure what I expected, to be honest, but the witty jokes I tried and attempted conversation seemed to be having little impact. She'd been recommended to North London Cares by a friend who had noticed she'd become increasingly isolated from society and was effectively cutting herself off from the outside world.

But what does a 20-something bloke from Yorkshire have in common with a 70-something year old woman living on her own in North London?

Well, the breakthrough came from the most unlikely source. Mitzi suffers from neuralgia, pain in one or more nerves, and it presents itself as extreme head aches brought on by exposure to wind or cold weather. Mitzi had been invited to the Proms and, nervous about being affected by the winter weather, politely declined. "Anyway, I'm more into Rap and Hip Hop music than classical. You know, Plan B and things". My initial thinking, and accidental blurting out, was "Eh?". Mitzi went on to explain how she respected Ben Drew (and she named him) because "he tells it how it is, although, he does use a few too many swear words".

The following week, I took Plan B's new album around on my visit to Mitzi and, after showing her how to turn her CD player on, we cranked 'Ill Manors' up loud and listened as he spat his lyrics. It was the happiest I think I've seen her, to this day.

Stay posted for Mike's next blog, in which he becomes more closely acquainted with Mitzi's cat than he might've anticipated.

If you'd like to get involved with North London Cares and support an older neighbour yourself, as Mike does, please leave your name, phone number and email address and we'll be in touch very soon.