The feeling’s mutual

Please note: this post is 137 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only

Regular film club volunteer Mike talks about the importance of reciprocity in volunteering with NLC...

By MIKE BONNET

I’ve been looking round houses recently. The contract for my flat in Finsbury Park is coming to and end and after 3 years I thought it might be nice to try somewhere new. A different neighbourhood, in a different part of London I mused. And with that in mind I began searching. I’d barely made it a mile down the road before I found somewhere. It turns out that my moderate sense of adventure was no match for a profound sense of separation anxiety that kicked in whenever I tried to venture further afield. Still I guess, at least that says something positive about my attachment to the local area.

It was also whilst house hunting that I got to thinking about my attachment to North London Cares. As anyone who’s ever been in the situation knows, looking at spare rooms and making small talk with prospective house-mates can be something of a repetitive process. “Where do you live, what do you do and what are your interests?” is the usual line of enquiry, which although pretty comprehensive, doesn’t tend to encourage the most free-flowing of conversations.

What did tend to encourage free-flowing conversations though was a mention of North London Cares. People were generally interested by NLC and its mission. Most were enthused by what they saw as a noble or laudable cause that gives companionship and support to older people that need it. Yet this conception of the charity only tells half the story. Having volunteered at NLC for just over 6 months, I think the reason it works as well as it does is because it’s based on a simple yet substantial idea: bringing local people of different generations together for mutual benefit.

NLC volunteers aren’t simply benevolent givers, just as the older people the charity works with aren’t merely passive receivers. A shared purpose underpins the relationship between all those involved. The motivations I have for attending the Film Club at Caledonian Road are by and large the same as those of older people: be that good conversation, a fondness for tea, or a love of film.

Too often, voluntary activities are portrayed as being transactional, where one party benefits from the generosity of the other, rather than an exchange, where there is reciprocity between both sides.

If you asked anybody at North London Cares’ 2nd birthday party earlier this month for an amusing anecdote or heart-warming tale about their time with the charity, what would become clear is the extent to which volunteers have benefitted from their engagement with older people.

Of course that isn’t to say it’s always plain sailing. Dealing with any group of people – older of otherwise – involves dealing with different personalities, which means there’s always potential for differences of opinion. But if nothing else that’s always interesting; and as small-talk with prospective housemates goes, it beats chatting about the weather.